Hello, Person surfing teh interwebz.
I would like to be known as Joanna Stanborough. That is not, alas, my name, yet I feel paranoid about publishing my Real Details. Joanna Stanborough, therefore, will have to suffice. I decided on it a few years ago, or rather a good deal of years ago whilst reading ‘mates, dates guide to life’ (at least I’m honest) . Any reader who has also read said tome will now know four more things about me : My middle name, the street I was born on, that I have read ‘mates dates guide to life’ and that I once fancied myself a romantic novelist in years to come. However, strictly speaking, that statement is incorrect, since anyone would have been able to tell that I had read the book without having read it themselves – yet I digress into the nitty gritty of the English language . I admit, that spesific (have I spelled that wrong? Who cares? who is Doctor Johnson to tell me I’m wrong? ) red herring was to portray my use of the utterance: ‘tome’ and to prove to my beloved readers that I can, contrary to popular belief, use a Thesaurus – a creature closely related to the T-Rex, or so palaeontologists have led me to believe.
Note from editor (Ann): this is getting silly now. I’m cutting this short.
And yes. She’s always like this.
And now they know the name of my sister. Way to be subtle, Ann.
…
Hang on, I just let on about having a sister called Ann, perhaps I should alter that to say ‘associate’.
Oh yes, if I ever do anything good on here and you copy. I’m telling your mummy. AND I’ll find your IP adress and send you a virus big enough to blow a hole in the fabric of the space-time continuum. YES WE CAN!!!
Ann: Oh dear…
