As the latest BBC production of Jane Austen’s ‘Emma’ has drawn to a close I set my mind to the question ‘Which Jane Austen heroine am I most like?’ There are many different types of aforementioned protagonist , (there would have to be, for Mr Cullen himself to have his own, personal brand) and Jane Austen portrays a wide range of them. To make matters easier, I have made notes on each (Thankyou, ‘Notes on notemaking’ PSHE class !) :
Pride and prejudice: Ok, who doesn’t imagine themselves as Elizabeth Bennet? (one would suppose a person who is either male or has never read the book or viewed one of the numerous motion picture adaptations . Is she too proud or too prejudiced ? I never can work it out.
Emma: You know, it takes her and Mr K a whole book to work out that they are MFEO (you have seen sleepless in seattle – right?)
Northanger Abbey : Catherine Morland is the youngest Ausetenian heroine who , at the start of the novel spends a good deal of her time up trees and reading gothic novels then fantasizing about certain male characters in said novel doing certain things to her….My my you have a dirty mind.
Mansfield Park: Fanny Price has a really annoying way of always doing the right thing, yet never seems to stand up for herself enough, letting Crawford bitch get her slimy hands on Edmund.
Sense and sensibility : There are kinda two protagonists to this story, as I am not two people , I do not feel it warrants notes.
Persuasion: I can’t believe that she let that creepy woman persuade her out of marrying the man of her dreams who later says ‘oh, yeah well you were only nineteen’ I mean, at nineteen , I’d be totally ready to marry James Bond. At least they get together at the end. Meh.
After all that tedious notemaking , the writing of which was a good deal less fun than expected I feel it is clear that I am the future incarnation of Catherine Morland in my unhealthy addiction to watching James Bond and….yes, well, hmmm….. AKWARD TURTLE!
